So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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