i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
