god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
