do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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