When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize