im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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