he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
