you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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