your thong is hanging out like whoa
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
