East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
