you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
