I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
