You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize