New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
