it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
