ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize