My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
