Yo dont text me then not text me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
