Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
