this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
