They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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