If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
