ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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