i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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