Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
