No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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