I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Farmville is her only friend.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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