i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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