I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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