I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
