oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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