my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Mom said you looked used
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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