i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
