I think im going to throw up on grandma
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
