Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
