I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
