the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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