well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Found your dick twin last night
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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