would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
