He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
