plz talk dirty to me
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
