i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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