My first STD was from a foam party
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
