is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Success! We fucked roommates!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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