He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
