drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
