Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
