Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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