with your own penis?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
