Quick, to the slutcave!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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