i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I queefed so loud it echoed.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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