Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
