you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
