the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize