i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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