he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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