no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you traded sex for a burrito?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
