we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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