I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
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