Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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