Do vagina's smell?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
