My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
