Cold hands, warm shart.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
