Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
