My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
