I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
