So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
