One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
