But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
