yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
How's work?
Spinning.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
