do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
