Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
no you cant smoke seaweed
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
