he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
