Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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