So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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