Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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