i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
