come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
