You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize