I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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