i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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